If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
