Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
