Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
