I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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