tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
