when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
