suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
