she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
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