you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
