i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
