My room smells like vodka and shame
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
