amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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