Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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