CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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