this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
is wine microwaveable?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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