I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
