.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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