The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
you inspire me to be a worse person
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
