what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
