Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
