I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
