I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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