Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
