We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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