When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
You had me at "let me see your balls"
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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