She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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