She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
