You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
