12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
