I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize