Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
