So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
