Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
