Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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