My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
she peed on how many people?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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