Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
