i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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