Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize