I heard we made out
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
