____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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