Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
