I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize