Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
