Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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