My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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