Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Life without a bra equals bliss.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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