She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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