Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
