She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
