Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
