everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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