i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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