Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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