Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
