dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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