i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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