Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
