This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
