I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
